John Marr's Corner:
I would like to apologize in advance for the huge amount of grammatical errors and speeling mistakes. This computer has niether a spell check or a grammar check, and I am just too damn lazy to proofread. Oh and if I mention you in this, dont get pissed off, its a joke.
“I am going to RUIN that magazine tonight!” – Q
“Are you gonna drink that?” – Lucreatia to Earl
“Gilmore, why are you always leaving Larry’s?” – Scarbrough
“Yak Attack? I gave them a severe Yak Jam instead of a Yak Attack. Fuckin hairy beasts. They can’t get into my psyche.” - McKellar
Ok so I lied. I’m sorry. I should have posted this weeks ago. Oh well, I’ve been doing stuff. What kind of stuff? Sir, that’s classified, and requires a level 4 clearance. Since you don’t have a level four clearance I’ll skip all this and get right into the corner.
In case you have been living in a freaking cave, GFA won the Semi Finals! Woo Hoo! All the stress that comes with success is taking a toll on the band. So for that reason the band is currently on a self imposed hiatus, they are all persuing different things for the next few weeks. However when they come back togethor it will be sheer aggression and mayhem. In the meantime I will fill you in on the band’s summer activities.
Brandon has been working non stop at Best Buy, and is always looking for contestants to take part in his underground jousting tournaments. There have only been three deaths this year, but with your help there could be more, so e-mail him and sign up to take part. Remember most of the profits are held by Brandon until you win your 5th joust, and after that you are free to go. Be a man, join the Best Buy Jousting League. Who knows? You may win.
Jonathan made it back safely from Mexico, and is currently beating the hell out of small women and children for the fun of it. If you ask me the kid has issues, and he needs to be stopped. If you do try to stop him, be very careful not to hurt him. He is needed for the final battle of the bands. In a related note, GFA needs a drum tech. If you are interested in hanging out with the band, and like to move drums from one place to another while being pushed around by a group of malevolent dictators drop GFA a line.
Andrew and John have grown very close this summer. You could probably christen this summer, “the summer of rim jobs” for those two. They are currently on another Florida trip togethor. From what I understand they plan on tracking down El Nino and challenging it to fight a hurricane. The only catch, the hurricane is named Ditka. Ditka vs. El Nino? You decide, but my money is on Ditka.
Unfortunatly for Q he is also on the same road trip of manly love, and hot dog insanity. I dont think that South Beach is ready for the raw power that those three are about to unleash on its inhabitants. Quite frankly I pray for their very souls. As long as the passions of men aren’t put into effect, the three biegos probably won't be able to destroy Florida. However, if the passions are inacted then they will definitely RUIN at least a little bit of the state.
Before I end this sorry excuse for a corner, I want to remind everyone out there that the lube job contest is still on. I thought I had found a winner, but John Gilmore (the freakin long necked pelican) stole the pics. In my book that is dirty pool, and it is cheating. I would like to remind John that Ditka hates Fakes, but he also hates cheaters, and you sir are a little of both. If you think that John Gilmore is a fake, and that Ditka would hate him for taking the pics let him know, join the yahoo group. If you want to win a can of refried beans, and other prizes tba, send in a winning shot of the ultimate lube job on Gilmore. Bonus points will definitley be awarded if you get him while he is performing at the show on the 31st. Leave him be while he is onstage the 28th, he might cry like the emo kid he is and lose the Battle of the Bands for GFA. With that said, happy hunting, and remember when you are about to lube job him ask yourself “What would Ditka Do?” Then lay into him with all the intense, passionate fury and raw aggression that was just channelled through your body simply by thinking about what Ditka would do. Happy hunting.
Oh one more thing. Eddie Van Diego shall no longer be known as “The Super Groupie”. From this day forth please address him as “The Less than Great Groupie”.
So I am cutting this short, just to get something posted. Send all of your complaints to me. But before I go I want to thank everyone that made my birthday so hard to remember. Eddie, Q, Scarbrough, No-Shot, GFA, Sam, Liz, Lucreatia, Ivy, and all the other guilty parties.
Youve read it before, read it again:
Other bands have armies or groups, why would you want to deprive GFA of this experience? OK, so its not really my idea, all the credit goes to Mr. Andrew Diego, but I am going to run with it. We, the fans of GFA, need to form an army the likes of which the world has never known before. An army of brothers and sisters united and fighting for a simple common goal, to grant GFA more exposure, and ease their ascent into super stardom. An army of youth, filled with enough blinding devotion that the laws of man no longer apply to them. An army of soccer hooligan-esqe escapades and adventures. An army that reguraly finds passed out college kids and tattoos the GFA logo across their forehead. Plus we will probably hand out fliers and the like. The GFA army will be known from this day forth as the GFA Bandits. If you want to become a member send me an e-mail. Please put GFA in the title.
Well you read another one, good job! ya fuckin idiot
The Marrchive: See old rantings