John Marr's Corner Archive: aka the Marrchive
So this is my own little space on the GFA website. You may be asking yourself about what I could have possibly done to deserve such an honor. The truth is not much. The only thing I did was single handedly form the most earth shattering groundbreaking band ever to be spawned from the rough streets of the H-Burg. Well maybe I didn't do that, but I did let them turn my room into a temporary recording studio so they owe me. And they will pay, yes, they will all pay, I mean after all this isn't Nam, there are rules.
I am going to use this space to post ireverent comments about the band members, their families, pets, friends, and enemies. Almost everything will be at least partially true, so fellas listen close, You don't always have to.......err........wait got side tracked there. Most of what will be posted is going to be from one inside joke or another so if you get it, your super special neat-o cool I guess, and if you don't get it you should hide in shame and cower as the real world passes you by LOSER! Wait thats not true, your not a loser, after all you are at the website of the most influential, talented, inspiring band on the planet, so you can't be a complete and total loser. Or can you? So with that said Let us begin.
Quotes of the week: " I think god gave me a gift, a gift to play drums!" - Ben
Recently the site has recieved a large number of e-mails concerning the band members, and their cryptical descriptions of themselves, so I have taken it upon myself to share with you, the fans, their true identities.
Andrew Diego may seem like your average mild mannered guitar virtuoso, but in all actuality he is a the leader of an underground gang of ninjas that attacks women and small children in shopping malls across the country. He has aspirations of someday taking over the world and systematically destroying all traces of country music, and long john silver's restaraunts. When he is not busy crippling the seafod industry, or old women, or old women eating seafood, he can most likely be found doing homework, because Andrew knows that a college education can open up doors in his future plans of a world dominated by ninjas.
Not much is known about John G he is by far the most quiet of all the band members. The few things I do know about him are as follows, he has a large scar on his knee from several surgeries after a botched triple axle toe loop during his quest to become a professional figure skater. He can play beer pong like nobody's business. And he has almost Jedi like mind control powers when speaking on AIM, I beleive John draws all of his power from his fish tank, and someday I hope to understand the strange relationship he shares with the fish in it. When John isn't practicing with the band he is usually working on his curling game in preparation for the next winter olympics.
Moving on to Brandon, Brandon is a wierd individual as you have probably guessed from his Bio. Be honest you read the groups bios, that makes you a "Super Fan". Brandon is a very lively and outgoing person, in fact if you ever see him out, just walk up and start talking. I have never met anyone more outgoing, or full of life, except for that time I met the pope. Brandon has aspirations of becoming a professional wrestler/info-mercial sidekick. He feels that these two careers are very similiar, and is amazed that noone has made the leap from the WWF to pitching the newest vacuum cleaner at three in the morning. When Brandon is not shaving his back, he is usually checking out porn on the net, or ordering a Junior, JUNIOR western bacon chee. He is also an impatient son of a bitch, and insisted on submitting my corner before it was done. So sorry about all the spelling errors and lack of an ending the first time this was posted, and all the errors now for that matter. Get off my back there ain't no spelling or grammar checks on this here computer thing.
So I guess that about does it for this edition of of my corner. It kind of bothers me that this is just called my corner, I don't like that they make me stay in the corner. If anyone can come up with a better name for this portion of the GFA site, or has any feedback at all you can e-mail me at email@example.com, or the band with suggestions. Maybe I'll give you a prize at the next show. Maybe a brand new handcrafted beerpong table. I'll post more about that as the show gets closer, and we confirm there is going to be a drummer for the show to take place. I think at this point they may want to consider renaming the band to something like Spinal Tap Jr. Alright I'm through, and very impressed you made it this far. See you at the shows - John Marr (not John Gilmore)