John Marr's Corner Archive: aka the Marrchive
Quote of the week: "Damn.. i must have killed 9 (kittens) just yesterday." - Andrew (Check out The Official Ninja Webpage for the answer)
I may be jumping the gun, but I think that GFA may have solved thier drummer shortage. The guy is amazing. He only has one arm, but so did the guy from Def Leopard so I'm sure he will work out great. His parole could not have come at a better time for GFA. I will leave the official announcement up to the band, but the kid has heart, and a prison record, what more could you ask for?
Its been over a week, and John's voice is almost back to normal. Or as Andrew puts it "(John)sounds like a teenage boy." John is rumored to be speaking with another band at the moment. A friend of GFA overheard him telling someone about joining a band called Slayer. When approached for comment John declined to respond. In other John related news, he has an amazing talent for prank calls. Thank you, John, I do not think I have laughed that hard in weeks.
Not to be outdone by John's chronic cold, Brandon has developed chronic bad breath. Brandon is also working on an underground jousting competition to be held in an undisclosed Best Buy warehouse. The contestants, or gladiators, will ride upon reach trucks at high rates of speed while wielding Best Buy beach umbrellas. Interested in becoming a contestant? E-Mail Brandon. Please understand that there is a contractual agreement, and myself, GFA, and Brandon Cook, will not be liable for any injuries that may occur, and that until your fifth joust, we keep all of your money, oh and if you die we keep all of your money. The band needs a P.A.
Andrew, or Mr. Satraini, is cracking under the pressure. With the demo recording on hiatus there is a lot of stress in the band, and Andrew is taking the brunt of it. The doctors say that his alter ego started as some sort of defense mechanism against the tyranny of the band's dictator, Brandon. Normally a rockstar with an alter ego would be something a band would brag about ( just look at KISS), however Andrew's is a little different. Andrew is convinced he is a Duck. He should be better by the time it rolls around, but just in case; please do not make any quick movements, or use flash photography at the show on the 27th.
The Diego family does not handle stress well. After working on the website, and watching his brother fall apart, Eddie is suffering a breakdown of his own. A week ago he stopped drinking, and sleeping. The only thing he has been eating is cheese, lots and lots of cheese. On Friday Eddie went missing. He was last seen in the Richmond area mumbling incoherently, and knawing on an empty velveeta box. If you see Eddie please approach him with extreme caution, and then when your really close, yell as loud as you can. Take a picture of his reaction and send it in, the best picture will win a can of refried beans.
Rachel and Jessica are the greatest dj's in the world. For the second week in a row they let me hang out in the studio, and played some GFA on the radio. Everyone reading this should listen to thier show on 88.7 WXJM Harrisonburg, from 2-4 AM every Monday Night/Tuesday Morning. What else are you going to do, sleep? Sleep is for the weak! Jessica and Rachel are for the strong! Viva las Jessica y Rachel a-go-go!
Now here is some actual news stuff:
Other bands have armies or groups, why would you want to deprive GFA of this experience? OK, so its not really my idea, all the credit goes to Mr. Andrew Diego, but I am going to run with it. We, the fans of GFA, need to form an army the likes of which the world has never known before. An army of brothers and sisters united and fighting for a simple common goal, to grant GFA more exposure, and ease their ascent into super stardom. An army of youth, filled with enough blinding devotion that the laws of man no longer apply to them. An army of soccer hooligan-esqe escapades and adventures. An army that reguraly finds passed out college kids and tattoos the GFA logo across their forehead. Plus we will probably hand out fliers and the like. The GFA army will be known from this day forth as the GFA Bandits. If you want to become a member send me an e-mail email@example.com, please put GFA in the title.
The second "serious" issue that I would like to discuss is the contest that may or may not take place at the show here on the 27th of April. This is something that without your support is not going to happen. I have constructed the mother of all beer pong tables, and after extensive testing and research I have decided to give it away. Now I know your initial reaction was something like "sweet I'm going to win a beer pong table" but don't get ahead of yourself. The table is 2'x8'? and about 3" thick, it is designed to set on top of another shorter table when drinking, and then put away later, after all no matter how stylish having a permananet beer pong table is, not everyone wants that. So because the table is pretty big, I have my doubts as to whether anyone upon winning would have a place to put it. This is where you come in, if I recieve a a pretty large amount of interest in winning this table, I will devise a contest. If I don't get the interest then no beer pong for you. So if you want this contest to take place E-mail me, firstname.lastname@example.org , again make sure you put GFA as the subject so I don't delete you.
Viva Los Banditos
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