John Marr's Corner Archive: aka the Marrchive


I would like to apologize in advance for the huge amount of grammatical errors and speeling mistakes. This computer has niether a spell check or a grammar check, and I am just too damn lazy to proofread. Oh and if I mention you in this, dont get pissed off, its a joke, you big baby.


“MMMMMMMMM mountain dew.” - Diego

“Daddy I need more Capri Sun!” – Rawdog

“Is John there? I can’t find him anywhere. I’ve been calling him all night.” - Scarbrough

“Do you ever look up at the stars and just think?” – Gilmore

“That’s Greeeaaat!” – Eddie

I know you are all overjoyed with the fact that it has been less then a month, and there is already a new corner. What can I say? I care about you, the fans; and in an effort to make your meager lives just a little bit happier I am going to try and produce a high quality product on a weekly basis. Well maybe I shouldn’t say high quality, but there should be something new about every week or so.

I want to congratulate Rawdog and Scarbrough. I’m so happy they found each other, but I do think it was a little early to move in togethor. Hey who am I to judge? Afterall I’m just a simple man living in a complex world.

Scarbrough, I fixed your name, are you happy now? Go tell John how much you love him, and your life may finally be complete.

Did you know that if you wear a tie to a rock and roll show there is a chance you will get free treats? It worked at Mainstreet anyway. I want to thank the bartender from the other night, nothing tastes quite as refreshing as free beers.

There haven’t been any entrys in the Biego contest, so I guess you guys dont want to crawl around in Diego’s twisted mind. I dont blame you. I hear there are ninja’s and shady looking characters at every turn. So I officially declare that contest over. We are all winners. However, you can still send treats to 571 Pheasant Run Circle.

Well I’m on the subject of Diego, next time you see him ask him this. “What do you know of the passions of men?”

I have come up with a new contest. I hope you kids are into it. Recently GFA has started playing a new game. The name of the game is Lube Jobs. Whats a lube job you ask? Have you been living under a freaking rock? Get your life togethor! A lube job is one of the most demeaning and demoralizing things that a person can recieve. Basically you walk up to your friend or loved one and slap them on the forehead. Before the slapping takes place you want to have your hand slightly moistened to allow proper slapping sound. The louder the sound the better the Lube Job. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to lay the biggest, nastiest lube job on Rawdog. The catch is that I want to see a picture. Whoever can get the best picture of someone mid Lube Job on Mr. Gilmore will win my respect, and the picture will get posted on the site. Beware there is another rule to Lube Jobs. If Rawdog dodges it you must allow him to throw you the overhaul, a slap on the back of your head. So use your stealthy ninja skills. And remember its a gentleman’s game, have fun with it. Oh and bonus points will be awarded if someone can throw the Slaw Jacker.

Gilmore you now have a price on your head, beware.

I haven’t seen Spencer in quite a long while. I did hear a rumor that he is locked up in some Tijuana prison. Apparently he was trafficing a large amount of “pocket pussies” in an unmarked van across the border when the Mexican police spotted him, beat him profusely about the head and neck, and threw him in a cell. I am now organizing a rescue party to break him out. If you care about Spencer, e-mail me. A working knowledge of explosives is a plus, but we will train you on the job. We also offer benefits, and a competitive 401K package.

Alright, I’ll level with you guys. So far only two people have become banditos. Want to find out who? Then join. You dont have to actually do anything, except whatever Brandon tells you to do.

I want to make it clear that since I am the founder of the banditos I am exempt from having to take orders from Mr. Cook, or any member of GFA for that matter. So lets try this again:

Other bands have armies or groups, why would you want to deprive GFA of this experience? OK, so its not really my idea, all the credit goes to Mr. Andrew Diego, but I am going to run with it. We, the fans of GFA, need to form an army the likes of which the world has never known before. An army of brothers and sisters united and fighting for a simple common goal, to grant GFA more exposure, and ease their ascent into super stardom. An army of youth, filled with enough blinding devotion that the laws of man no longer apply to them. An army of soccer hooligan-esqe escapades and adventures. An army that reguraly finds passed out college kids and tattoos the GFA logo across their forehead. Plus we will probably hand out fliers and the like. The GFA army will be known from this day forth as the GFA Bandits. If you want to become a member send me an e-mail Please put GFA in the title.

Wow, you read the whole thing. Did you feel your IQ drop?


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